Make Things Bloom

I’ve created a ritual for myself: every time I run beneath a tree branch, I repeat to myself the beliefs that I’m cultivating in my life. Right now I’m focusing on a list of 10—

I love myself exactly as I am. I love my body exactly as she is. I am safe to rest. I am safe to work. I am safe to receive feedback. I am safe to give feedback. I am safe to fail. Failure is an essential part of learning. I am the authority of my own life. I am right on time.

I imagine the tree as a tunnel, a gate, a portal, that boosts me deeper into these beliefs. I imagine the physical jolt forward, like stepping onto a moving sidewalk. The world around me will carry me where I need to go, if I let her. There’s nothing that I have to do completely alone. And yet, I am fully capable, just as I am.

Today I ran under a tree carrying the phrase, “I make things bloom.” It’s something my husband started saying about me when we were dating. Dania just makes things bloom. Being around someone who saw me like that was magic. He looked at me and saw someone who brought life and wonder and beauty into the world. I want to believe in that version of myself more, to internalize the gift of his characterization of me.So I ran under the tree repeating, one word per step, “I—make—things—bloom—I—make—things—bloom.” I felt the boost of the tree’s wisdom, the tree’s force. I felt it wash over me.

And then, as I rounded the next corner, the morning air was suddenly rich with the sweet scent of a fall mountain bloom.

Shocked, I took in as much of the scent as my body could contain. I mourned the necessity to exhale. The response was so immediate! What a gift, to feel it with every sense:

I make things bloom.