In Good Company

The last few months have been one enormous slump. Portugal’s immigration laws went through a significant renovation and have been a challenge to navigate. I injured my foot, so had to back off running to give it space to heal. And, though December through March were filled with hints and false starts, winter never really came. All of the things that gave me a sense of groundedness in place, time, and my own body simply disappeared. I have felt adrift.

But April came and with it hope. The stretches and exercises I’ve been doing for my foot have helped dramatically–I’m up to double-digit long runs and am feeling strong! I’ve been working with a new immigration lawyer who is confident that we can secure our visas even amidst the changes, and I’ve received approval from the university to defer the start to my program until this coming fall. Hitting pause on my coursework has freed up my bandwidth to work through the physical and logistical challenges of our upcoming move, which feels like such a gift. The spring weather has been finicky, teasing us with early 80-degree weather followed by cold snaps and snowstorms, but it feels less disorienting than winter’s outright absence. Spring has always been indecisive, even if this year is more dramatic than her usual. 

Gradually, I’m getting my feet back on solid ground. I’m feeling myself again. I’ve been reading, writing, running, sewing, knitting, dyeing, playing, gardening, photographing, swimming, bird watching, exploring. It’s a relief to be back, to see myself in myself. To recognize the person I spend every moment of my life with. We’re doing a lot together, myself and I, and it feels happy and exciting. I’m discovering the joy it is to live this life profoundly enjoying the company of one’s own self.